Embracing the In Between

Step outside in early November and you are likely to see ghosts and spider webs alongside Santa and his reindeer. November serves as an in between–the month between Halloween and Christmas and the transition between fall and winter.

Personally, I most strongly felt the in between in my own life while awaiting the birth of my second child. My first came at 38 weeks and I had believed the old wives tales that told me my second would arrive earlier than my first. As I approached and then passed my “due date,” I entered the in between. I felt straddled between two worlds, one in which I was pregnant and awaiting the arrival of my baby and one in which I was already a mother to my child.

Every transition has an in between. The space between–the transition between before and after, now and then, yesterday and tomorrow. Some in betweens are larger and some are only momentary. We see it in nature when the temperatures fluctuate dramatically as Earth transitions from one season to the next. We witness it in children as they grapple with conflicting feelings of dependence and independence as they leave younger childhood and enter adolescence. We feel it when we move, part of us still in the old home and part of us in the new.

“Both our past and our future offer meaningful lessons and opportunities, but so does the in between.”

This realm can be scary–a time of uncertainty, confusion, loss, worry and reflection. It can also be filled with excitement as we anticipate what is ahead. Both our past and our future offer meaningful lessons and opportunities, but so does the in between. We can embrace it, make space for conflicting emotions and find peace in this impermanent place. We can give ourselves permission to accept and love both co-occurring versions of ourselves. Doing so helps distance us from black and white, either or thinking. It expands our capacity for understanding and broadens our range of being.