Tonight has been exceptionally rough. It's 3am and I am running on no sleep. I'm exhausted and when Henry wouldn't stop crying I begrudgingly told my husband that I would take him and deal with him. I was frustrated and tired and felt at my wits end.
Then, I decide to start praying over my son. I wrote this prayer and now as I look down at my son while he breastfeeds I feel overcome with love, compassion, and gratitude. I feel just as tired as I did when I came out here, but my soul is filled with a greater sense of peace.
Grant me patience as Henry's mother. Help me remember that he is a precious gift and that being his mother is a blessing from you. Remind me that you entrusted me with this responsibility because you know I am capable. Give me strength of character, kindness, patience, understanding. Fill me with love and remove the frustration and anger from my heart. Help me remember that this little baby loves and needs me, and that while I feel I need sleep more than anything, I am his whole world.
As I feed him please let my milk nourish him not only physically. Let him be filled with kindness, courage, health, happiness, love, and goodness. Let my milk and this time together instill him with values that will grow him into a strong and good man.
Fill my heart with peace and give me the endurance to face long sleepless nights. Help me have the perspective to remember that these exhausting days and nights won't last forever and I will miss the moments of holding my baby in my arms.