My First Mother's Day

by Lauren Matthies


Today is my first Mother's Day as a mother not just a daughter.  I cannot believe that I am now someone who is celebrated on this special day.  I am a mother, and I love and appreciate my own mother even more because I am beginning to have a more intimate understanding of what she has sacrificed and the depth of her love for my sister and me.

As I reach my first Mother's Day, 12 days after Henry's debut, I reflect on what it means to be a mom.  There are times I just feel like one giant boob.  He wants to be at that boob more than not.  I realize, though, the beauty of that.  His whole life I have nourished and sustained him. When he was in my womb I provided everything for him to live, and, now that he is out in the world, he is still largely reliant on me for life.  Not only physically in terms of food, but emotionally, in terms of love, my baby needs me.  He relies on me.  He is dependent on me.  I am responsible for the life of this beautiful child.

Being a mom is one of the greatest responsibilities there is.  It is not easy (I know that after only 12 days and sure I have many, many more challenges to come).  It can be frustrating.  It often fills you with guilt and insecurity.  It makes you nervous and scared.  It makes you vulnerable.  It causes you to reexamine everything you know to be true and the way in which you have lived your life.  It is an incredible gift.  It fills you with joy and purpose.  It makes you feel needed and loved.  It is time-consuming.  It is exhausting.  It makes you part of a unique club.  It gives you a greater appreciation for your own mom and all the good mothers in the world.  It makes you have more sympathy for those mothers who fall short.  It changed my life the second I saw my son.  It gave me a beautiful family for whom I would do anything.

This Mother's Day, I am grateful for all the moms in the world.  Those who are biological moms, those who are adoptive moms, those who act like moms, those who are moms in a nontraditional sense, those who care for others and sacrifice their comfort for the wellbeing of another, those who are trying to become mothers, those who can't carry their own children, those who carry children for others.  Being a mom is more than just having a baby, and I have a greater appreciation this Mother's Day for every type of mom.  

This Mother's Day, I also, appreciate my son.  He made me a mother.  He will teach me so much about life, love, and sacrifice.  He let me experience love at first sight.  He carries a part of my soul with him.

Lastly, this Mother's Day, I appreciate my husband.  Without him I wouldn't be a mom, and without him I don't know how I would be able to care for Henry.  He is an incredible father and husband, and, along with all those who support and love moms, he deserves to be celebrated this day as well.

My first Mother's Day, Henry's first Disneyland visit.

My first Mother's Day, Henry's first Disneyland visit.