Prayer on a Sleepless Night

by Lauren Matthies


Dear Lord, please fill me with kindness, compassion, and patience. Fill my heart with love and understanding.

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Last night I was incredibly angry. I was exhausted after Henry woke up when my husband came to bed after I'd had maybe 30 minutes of sleep. My nipples have been in lots of pain while breastfeeding and Henry's sharp nails were cutting me. I was angry at Henry for being awake and for hurting me and I was angry at my husband for sleeping and snoring while I was left with our now woken baby. I began to pray this prayer. I said it over and over until my heart softened. I realized that neither of their intentions were malicious. Henry was just woken and didn't know how to get back to sleep. Derek was just coming to bed and was sleeping before another day of work for our family. Both of these people I love and claim I would do anything for yet I was furious at them. I began to breathe, continued to pray, and began focusing on Henry's sweet hands rubbing my chest rather than the sharpness of his nails, his love for and trust of me rather than the pain of his latch, the beauty of our time together rather than the intensity of my fatigue. My heart continued to soften and my anger faded away, leaving me still tired and in pain, but with a grateful and peaceful spirit.